On New Year’s Resolutions: Why Less is More and Specific is Even Better

By Debra LeClair Psy.D

While visiting family, I was served some tea in a cup that had the 1997 annual goals of a major company etched down the sides.  In reading the list, I wondered how many of them were achieved.  I also wondered if there were too many.  While its illuminating to get a sense of all the areas that could be evolved, sustainable change is better made with a few specific and meaningful goals.  With 1 or 2 aspirations, the brain can more fully organize its neurons around how to walk the path to true attainment. With that kind of focus, your psyche is less likely to get overwhelmed and give up.

To get to your most important goal or two, think about what it is that you specifically value that needs to be better expressed in action.  Health and well-being?  Professional mastery?  Respectful communication? Next, in relation to that value, define how you will know you have been successful in a way that hits home for you. Seeing the numbers of the scale go down might be great but maybe the most meaningful aspect of losing weight is that you feel confident in how you feel in your clothes. When standing in front of your closet transforms from a feeling of dread to one of joy, you know you’ve arrived.

Having a visceral vision puts the experience of attainment into your internal programming. Part of you has already gotten there, so part of you better knows how to bring the rest of you along. It also easier to stay connected to the behavior that is going to help you meet your objectives if it is explicit, both in what will shift and what to do to create that shift.  In other words, are you going to just aim to be less stressed in 2016 or also initiate setting reminders to take breathing breaks 4 times a day? They both get at the same thing, but while the first may sound more inspiring on its own, the second reminds you of what exactly you need to do on a regular basis to experience that the ability to find calm has now become yours.

Whether you have already started working on your New Year’s resolution or are still contemplating, it helps to commit your goal to paper and look at it often. Write about how it feels and how it makes your life happier. Describe what is working in your journey and what would serve you better to change. Lastly, keep thanking yourself for the care and intelligence you are putting into your process.

 

 

 

Three Questions to Tap Into The Spirit of the Season

With such a call for cheer and celebration, many of us struggle to be fully present through all the festivities. The intensity of this time of year pushes us into overdrive when our natural cycle is asking to slow down, rest and go inward.  But when you’re feeling stressed or just blah, how do you connect to the joy and dare we say, peace? Ask yourself the three questions below, allowing time to drop into your truth and see what answers begin to arrive.

1) What do I want to feel this season?

Since we tend to focus most on what we don’t want to feel–dread, exhaustion, anger, obligation, our energy goes into how to avoid the pain. This can squeeze out being able to entertain the positives.  Just becoming aware of what would spark happiness and peace lights up different parts of the brain.  It also gives the brain, mind and heart a path to follow, creating greater space and likelihood that the positive will manifest.  As its been said through the centuries and now proven through neuroscience, “what we think, becomes our reality.”

2) What is your favorite part of this time of year?

Whatever it is, from placing the elf on the shelf for the 1^st time to gathering non-perishables for the holiday food drive, if it opens your heart or speaks to your soul, give yourself permission to become fully absorbed into that moment.  The more present you are for when the joy happens organically, the more likely it will either stay with you or show up again more easily.

3) What will best support you in how you want to feel?

Piggy-backing on question #2, bring to mind any other activities (and non-activities) that create contentment for you. Let those ideas breathe inside your awareness and your planning.   Next, think about what is depleting and how those aspects of the holidays can eliminated or minimized. Knowing that letting go of a long-standing ritual can create a new wave of anxiety, remember that anything you do differently (i.e. non-traditionally) you can just try out for one season. Maybe this year you ‘d like to let go of installing lights across the entire perimeter of your roof. Next season, you might feel differently. Whatever you do, just let it be because the spirit moved you.

Tips To Get Back To Clearer Thinking

With all the schedule shifting that comes with summer knocking on the door, it’s a challenge to stay focused. “If only I could think,” is a comment I hear from clients and colleagues often. Here are a few tried and true things you can start to do to shift yourself back into thinking with clarity:

1) Take your brain for a walk: Our brains thrive on having defined breaks, changing up the scenery and getting the heart pumping. A walk gives you all of those things, especially if you can go outdoors and fill your awareness up with the sounds, sights and smells of nature.

2) Stress is often a culprit of feeling distracted. When we are stressed, unconsciously we may only breathe with the tops of our lungs or even hold our breath at times. This cuts us off from our most primary fuel, which is oxygen. Give yourself frequent breathing breaks where you mindfully breathe in to fill your lungs. For a minute, notice the sensations in your lungs from either top to bottom or from front to back and then focus on how it feels to exhale fully. Think of the exhalation as a chance to get rid of everything you don’t need.

3) A yoga posture called Legs up the Wall is highly effective to help the nervous system to ground and reset. So maybe you won’t try it in a skirt in the office but in a private space you can follow these steps. Make sure to scroll down to read the beginner tips and contraindications. http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/690

4) Use your nose. Aromatherapeutic scents wake up the brain and help it to function more optimally. The key here is those scents should be pure and preferably organic essential oils that can be used through diffusers or rubbing the oil on your skin. Citrus, rosemary and peppermint wake us up and lift the mood while lavender and bergamot help reduce stress. Quality essential oils can be found at most health food stores. Even higher quality oils can be found through a company such as doTERRA. or Young Living.

http://www.fullspectrumwellness.com

Alternatives To The New Year’s Resolution

By Debra LeClair Psy.D.

Setting goals and working towards them is very ingrained in our culture—however if you find that the thought of setting a new years resolution just isn’t inspiring much less motivating you, it may be a good time to consider an alternative or two.

Alternative One

Sometimes its not so much about bringing about a change, which tends to be an inherent part of  new years’ resolutions, but to simply place focus on what is already feeling right and working well in your life.  In a word, the focus is on gratitude.  When we spend time on being appreciative of what we have, there is a natural shift to feel less in need of what isn’t there because we are filled up by what is already present.

To take this route in 2011,  simply create a time in your day to think about and/or write down a list of the situations, people and things for which you have gratitude in that moment.  Some people think about it during a commute to or from work, others may journal on it before going to sleep.

Alternative Two

Instead of having specific goals ( e.g. lose 50 pounds, no more yelling at the kids, etc.) try the idea of a theme.  One theme could be healthy living or another could be compassion.  The idea is to allow the theme to strengthen as time passes.  For instance, if you have tried to lose weight for years and by Jan 10^th have given up, a healthy living theme may feel easier to implement.  Instead of going on “a diet’ where you have to avoid a list of foods, a themed approach would be more about having fun with your choices, where the goal is about keeping with the theme.

To build a healthy living theme, you may opt to eat more fruits and vegetables and move your body more than you have in the past.  The key here is to  remember the theme throughout the day.  For example, when you could take the elevator or the stairs, you connect to your theme and choose to take the stairs.  Maybe you still enjoy your chocolate latte but in the theme of healthy living you choose to have a soup and salad instead of the burger and fries for lunch.  It’s a subtle but powerful shift that some personalities find more appealing and thus easier to integrate into daily life, especially for  the long run.

Alternatives To The New Year's Resolution

By Debra LeClair Psy.D.

Setting goals and working towards them is very ingrained in our culture—however if you find that the thought of setting a new years resolution just isn’t inspiring much less motivating you, it may be a good time to consider an alternative or two.

Alternative One

Sometimes its not so much about bringing about a change, which tends to be an inherent part of  new years’ resolutions, but to simply place focus on what is already feeling right and working well in your life.  In a word, the focus is on gratitude.  When we spend time on being appreciative of what we have, there is a natural shift to feel less in need of what isn’t there because we are filled up by what is already present.

To take this route in 2011,  simply create a time in your day to think about and/or write down a list of the situations, people and things for which you have gratitude in that moment.  Some people think about it during a commute to or from work, others may journal on it before going to sleep.

Alternative Two

Instead of having specific goals ( e.g. lose 50 pounds, no more yelling at the kids, etc.) try the idea of a theme.  One theme could be healthy living or another could be compassion.  The idea is to allow the theme to strengthen as time passes.  For instance, if you have tried to lose weight for years and by Jan 10^th have given up, a healthy living theme may feel easier to implement.  Instead of going on “a diet’ where you have to avoid a list of foods, a themed approach would be more about having fun with your choices, where the goal is about keeping with the theme.

To build a healthy living theme, you may opt to eat more fruits and vegetables and move your body more than you have in the past.  The key here is to  remember the theme throughout the day.  For example, when you could take the elevator or the stairs, you connect to your theme and choose to take the stairs.  Maybe you still enjoy your chocolate latte but in the theme of healthy living you choose to have a soup and salad instead of the burger and fries for lunch.  It’s a subtle but powerful shift that some personalities find more appealing and thus easier to integrate into daily life, especially for  the long run.

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Early Bird Rate Extended To Dec 30th– YogaWorks Teacher

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The Road to Wellness Starts at the Office

By John Eric Jacobsen

Did you know that 70% of healthcare costs in the United State are preventable? According to the American Heart Association, we lose $32 BILLION a year because of premature illness associated with cardiovascular diseases like high blood pressure, diabetes and obesity.

Corporate Wellness Programs are designed to directly address the increasing health, fitness and lifestyle crisis we’re experiencing in our country and in corporate America.  These numbers represent costs that affect the bottom line of every business, which is why providing employee wellness programs is more important than ever.  With the U.S. Centers for Disease Control reporting that regular physical exercise and meditation can substantially reduce the risk of heart disease, diabetes, depression, high blood pressure and a host of other crippling conditions, it’s clear that these practices are a vital component to corporate wellness and health.

What does this mean for your company? According to a 2009 study by Mercer Human Resource Consulting, “programs addressing workforce stress and health have steadily gained momentum over the past five years and are now reporting a massive return on investment.” In fact, 86% of companies with more than 50 employees offer wellness programs, and 31% of employers offering smoking cessation and weight management programs reported a positive ROI.

Wellness is that quality that gives us the sense that everything is under control, which in turn allows us to focus fully on what we are doing without distraction from negative stress, disease, or conflict. Wellness is a form of homeostasis – the process that maintains our internal equilibrium.

Workplace wellness is an on-going and holistic undertaking, requiring you to consider all aspects of an individual: their attitudes and home life, as well as what happens during work hours.

My company is now partnering with businesses across the country to answer the call for comprehensive, cost-effective employee wellness programs.  Designed with input by top professionals and MDs in the field, our wellness programs are designed to meet your needs to maximize health benefits AND cost savings!

It’s important to remember that a comprehensive wellness program ideally promotes four components for your employees benefit: Prevention, Recognition, Assistance, and Motivation.  Also included should be topics covering:

•healthy eating

•fitness programs

•smoking cessation

•weight loss

•job coaching & motivational skills

•sleep management

•on-going stress management

•energy management

•vitamins & nutrients

A healthy lifestyle impacts every part of your day-to-day work environment.  Good wellness programs translate into fewer injuries, less human error, and a more harmonious office environment. They also let your employee know that your organization is concerned about their general health and well-being.

For well over a decade, research has been showing the effectiveness of on-site wellness programs.  For every dollar spent on a corporate wellness program, the returns have been a cost savings of between $2.30 and $10.10 in the areas of decreased absenteeism, fewer sick days, reduced WSIB/WCB claims, lowered health and insurance costs, and improvements to employee performance and productivity.

In Canada, only 23.9% of companies reported that they have been evaluating their wellness programs regularly, which makes management unclear on the full scope of benefits being realized.

American statistics do show however, that a healthy organization increases employee morale, improves the ability to attract and retain key people, all while having more alert and productive employees.

Improved employee productivity can have a considerable impact on an organization and its profitability.  Wellness Programs tend to improve overall morale, as participating associates feel better about themselves and their company. Wellness Programs lead to a more energetic, positive and productive workplace, thus strengthening a company and helping to increase its success.

Healthy associates are happy associates; and happy workers almost always turn out to be faithful, long-term employees. So the healthier and happier the work force, the less you have to spend on hiring and training new personnel.  Remember, the basis for creating a healthy work force are well-conceived and well-promoted corporate wellness programs.

The most obvious benefit of our corporate wellness seminars is that it allows companies to reduce their overall healthcare costs, in part by reducing the number of medical claims processed each year.  Study after study has confirmed that corporate wellness programs have a preventive effect against a wide variety of illness and disease.

With a continued rise in the cost of healthcare, more and more companies are offering health education and wellness programs, according to a survey conducted by consulting firm, Hewitt Associates (which specializes in Human Resources).  In fact, 72 percent of U.S. companies are now offering such programs. Camille Haltom, a health care consultant with Hewitt Associates, noted, “We expect that organizations will not only continue to offer health promotion programs but look for ways to enhance and expand existing programs for employees.”
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Keys To Building Personal Resilience, Part II: Care of the Mind and Emotions

By Debra LeClair Psy.D.

Walking the line between realism and optimism is huge when it comes to building empowerment.  In contrast, negativity tends to keep us in a fear-based mode of living.  How hard is it to move forward when you feel scared all the time?  From fear comes excuses and from excuses comes the feeling of being stuck or that things can’t change—which translates to a feeling of powerlessness.

When feeling a loss of power, the mind often operates in protective mode— this means it may only take in some of the information it gets to make judgments and decisions.  We often do this because the whole picture can be overwhelming, especially if it points to doing something out of our comfort zone.  It may feel safer to focus on just the reasons that say we shouldn’t even try.   The mind does this because the avoidance of pain is one of its primary functions.

But, if you were an objective observer looking in, would you advise making decisions based on incomplete or possibly incorrect information? Hopefully not, but that’s what we do—sometimes automatically.  One example of this process is the thought, “ I can’t start a business because I won’t be able to get enough money because the economy is bad”.  Here the mind is trying to prevent taking too big a chance, which includes being disappointed.  But what is this decision really being based on?  In this case, asking yourself basic questions such as,  “Do I really know this is true?” followed by,  “ How can I find out what the reality actually is?” can help you take a more productive path both mentally and emotionally. Its important to make the distinction here that asking and answering these questions do not commit you to taking the bigger risk, they just open up possibilities.

So how do you make the leap from feeling shut down to feeling empowered?  Here are a few steps that might prove helpful:

1)    Recognize that there is a part of your mind that is looking to protect you—by maintaining status quo.  You can think of it as one part of your mind operating under the adage, “ The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t”. Just being aware of that can help you to look more objectively at the thoughts you are having about a situation to see if they are truly serving you or not.

2)     Along those same lines, don’t believe everything you tell yourself.  Allow yourself to explore what is really going on by questioning any self- judgment that arises.  For instance, “ I can’t get a promotion—I don’t have what it takes” as a statement can be challenged to see if it really is the truth.  “ Is it true that I really don’t have what it takes?”  “ Can I gain/learn/access what it takes?”  “ What are my options to start the process?”

3)    Break down the dilemmas.  “ What it takes” is very abstract—it’s a great idea to talk or write out exactly what it is that you would need to move forward.  Its easy to forget that you don’t need to have it all acquired and figured out before you even start moving in the direction of creating a positive outcome.

5 Reasons Why Men Should Do Yoga

From Yoga Journal’s Blog

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Do you Need Psychotherapy, Life Coaching, Or Both?

As time goes on, the nature of the helping professions continues to thankfully evolve. For so long, seeking psychotherapy has carried a stigma. That perception still lingers however since the trauma of September 11th, there has been a major shift of how “getting help” is viewed. This is because many people who had already been experiencing depression and anxiety found their conditions worsening after the terrorist attacks. For many others, these world events brought on a new sense of fear and helplessness that they had not known before.

Usually someone seeks psychotherapy or mental health counseling when their emotional pain has become so bad that it becomes difficult to function. A smaller percentage seek psychotherapy, especially with a spiritual bent, purely to enrich and improve upon their lives.

Scheduling a session for the first time can be a scary thing regardless of your intention. Making this appointment means that you are moving into change – as you explore your life and how you got to be where you are.

Psychotherapy sessions themselves are rather unique because you are entering into a relationship with a person who will be dedicated to listen to your story. Within the confines of that relationship and the time you spend within the therapist’s office is the creation of an intentional, safe space. A place where you can vent, process and express how you feel about the aspects of your life. What you talk about is up to you. The therapist may ask you questions to help bring clarity to the process. A therapist may also “mirror ” back to you the things that you communicated, both in what you said and in the emotion you conveyed when you expressed it. This often allows you to see the “bigger picture” and learn from the patterns you may see emerging.

Life coaching is also a relationship that is designed to be purely helpful to the client. When a person seeks the services of a life coach, they are looking to find ways to “close the gap” from where they are now in their life to where they really want to be. For instance, if you’re unhappy in your job and are thinking that you’d like to shift careers – maybe even start your own business, a coach will help you identify your assets, clarify your vision as it evolves and guide you through the process of creating your life, as you have been envisioning it in your dreams.

You will probably find that the coaching relationship focuses more on the present while looking to the future–as opposed to exploring your past. This is because the philosophy of coaching assumes that each person is whole, able to function well, capable of creating and doing great things and has strengths to build on–even if he/she is not yet fully aware of what they might be yet. In contrast to psychotherapy, coaching does not explore for areas of dysfunction usually linked to a person’s history in order to ignite positive life change. Instead, coaching helps to minimize the stressors and shift limiting beliefs that can block a person’s potential to manifest a more satisfying and balanced life.

For some people, the highest benefit comes from meeting with both a therapist and coach. It should be noted here that to keep the boundaries of both types of work clear, your coaching and psychotherapy services should be delivered by two different practitioners. It’s also good to know that psychotherapy usually takes place in person while coaching happens most often over the phone. Either way, it is amazing how much a life can be transformed with the right fit of professional support.

Looking to Make a Life Change, But…

What kinds of feelings come up for you when you think about change on a personal level? In day-to-day conversation, some people readily admit that they do not like change, “It’s scary, it’s unknown and what if the challenges are past the point I think I can handle?” It’s understandable how the mind will go into these thoughts since a part of its job is to be always thinking how to protect. Actually, that’s the ego’s preoccupation – keeping things safe and at status quo. That’s great except change often leads to growth, rejuvenation and sometimes out and out transformation. All of that is the natural flow. As humans, we are designed to be manifestations of this personal evolution in order to share our talents, wisdom and passion within the world. So what’s the problem? Getting back to the ego – in an effort to keep us safe physically and emotionally, it sabotages us with messages that create fear. It is those messages about ourselves that we believe to be truth. Have you ever said to yourself, “I’m not smart enough to pursue my dream career”, “Meeting and being with the love of my life – well that’s for other people” even a little thing like, ‘I’ll never get a parking spot”. No wonder the idea of change is so scary. We feel that either we don’t have what it takes or we don’t deserve the goodness that a life transition can bring.

The key to turning this around is first to thank your ego for all its efforts to keep you safe. Next, it is important to notice the times when the ego messages are sent. Think of it as having a quiet observer in your consciousness, one that just points out the ego thoughts. This process will help you to evaluate these messages more objectively, instead of seeing them as undisputed truths. The great power of the ego thoughts comes from their repetition. Chances are you have heard these negative messages play out in your mind throughout the years. Your ego has probably found ways to even prove to you that these thoughts are truths. To take an example, say you were asked to give a talk, but public speaking is something you have not done too many times. While considering the proposition, the ego pinpoints and replays the time you went blank during a presentation in the past, thus “proving” to you that public speaking just isn’t your bag. This one piece then becomes amplified, eclipsing the success of the rest of that presentation or other talks that you have given.

The inner observer on the other hand, just watches and listens to the thoughts and reactions that come up in your mind without judging or getting emotionally involved. It inherently understands that whatever is happening internally, “just is, what it is”. Spending time with your observer will help you gain greater awareness of when the ego speaks. It will also give you some distance and perspective about how the ego impacts your emotions. To keep the connection with the observer, throughout your day tap into what it sees and hears. This may sound too simple (which by the way, is in itself an ego thought – the ego is about survival and never wants to be exposed) but repeatedly going back to the observer will start to shift how you experience your inner world, since the ego would rather you forget about the observer and return to just taking its own message as your truth. In the next month’s article, using thoughts to create more consciously positive messages will be addressed. In the meantime, if you are serious about gaining back some of your personal power, appointing an inner observer may go a long way to help you feel more comfortable with change and growth opportunities.

If you have any questions about psychotherapy and/or coaching, please feel free to contact Debra LeClair, Psy.D, licensed psychologist and certified life coach at 603.296.0830 extension 2. She will gladly clarify things as best she can for you or point you to the resources that can give you the answers you need.